Why moving is always weird

Moving is always weird. It's not sometimes weird or occasionally weird, it is always weird. I have compiled a list of reasons why moving is always weird:

why moving is always weird

  • People are always either talking too much or talking too little. Never right in the middle.
  • Every place you drive looks the same (read: completely unrecognizable) for at least a month. Maybe more or less depending on your level of awesomeness.
  • No matter where you moved from people will say things like "Oh, you're from the East Coast? East Coast people are mean." or perhaps, "You are from the West Coast? Californians are avocados." Or "You are from Kansas. Are you made of wheat?" Whatever they say it is almost always wrong. Except in the case of meanness. I am always mean. And the avocado thing. That's true.
  • The stuff you packed seemed a lot more awesome before you moved. "WTF is that? Why would I pack 3 salad spinners?" And "Oh no! My blue fish-net stockings that were signed by Courtney Love!!!! Why did I forget to bring them!?!?"
  • Everyone is either cussing too much or not enough. In my case it is never enough.
  • You never make enough trips to Target, or Kmart, or wherever you shop. Seriously. How many times can you forget that you need a paper towel holder?
  • Everything is always broken when you move in. In my case it was the AC unit. . You get to call the office and say things like "I need to make a work order for 9 different things." And then you get to list them all. Then you wait 2 years for them to fix it but by that time you move out. And the same things happen at your next house.
  • You're tempted to stop at McDonalds because you don't recognize anything else. But you don't. Seriously...DON'T DO IT!
  • Everyone knows you're "not from 'round here" and you don't know if it's because the giant sticker on your face that reads "I'm not from 'round here" or if it's because you look confused in every store you go in.
  • You say things like "Well...my Target was NOT set up like this at all. Why would they put the picture frames on the left side of the store??"
  • You try to become friends with the pizza girl because you are scared you won't find any other friends.
  • You call your friends from home and say things like "everything here is weird."
  • Everyone thinks you are the weird one. (You might be the weird one. That's entirely possible. It's probably you.)
  • You say things like "THERE ARE _______ HERE???" Fill in the blank. In my case it was "They have Sonics?!" Then I never go to one. Because they are gross and were only cool when they were novel.
  • You ask everyone questions like "Is it safe around here?" Or "where are the cool bars." Then you go there and realize that whoever told you about this bar has terrible terrible taste and you wish you hadn't asked.
  • You try to remember that THIS IS AN ADVENTURE but it's also real life. So you have to be both adventurous and serious. Can you handle it?
  • There are always more reasons. I just haven't discovered them yet. So get ready for updates!